Borowitz: “Pat Robertson Blames Mild Earthquake on People Who Seem Kind of Gay”

VIRGINIA BEACH – Evangelist Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his 700 Club program by saying that yesterday’s mild East Coast earthquake was God’s revenge on people “who act kind of gay.” “All across the Eastern seaboard, there are men who get manicures, wear designer eyewear and know about thread counts,” Rev. Robertson.  “God finds this somewhat gay-like behavior confusing, and He responded by getting mildly peeved.” The televangelist warned that if Americans persist in their “seemingly sort-of-gay behavior,” the country should brace itself for additional ambiguous acts of retaliation from the Almighty. {(The Borowitz Report. Thanks, JM!)

About Guy N. Texas

Guy N. Texas is the pen name of a lawyer living in Dallas, who is now a liberal. He was once conservative, but this word has so morphed in meaning that he can no longer call himself that in good conscience. Guy has no political aspirations. He speaks only for himself.
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2 Responses to Borowitz: “Pat Robertson Blames Mild Earthquake on People Who Seem Kind of Gay”

  1. hortonw says:

    I can certainly understand why Pat Robertson chooses to worship a bigoted version of God. Why would a bigot worship a more inclusive God?

    What I find odd is that Robertson’s God would send such an ambiguous signal. An earthquake centered in middle Virginia is supposed to be understood as a warning about being gay-ish? Maybe it was a signal about smoking tobacco or whatever other potentially objectionable conduct occurs in that region. If God can’t get it to together and send us clear signals, how can he expect any more from us? Until God centers an earthquake at the Castro, I am going to continue enjoying high thread count sheets.

  2. Guy N. Texas says:

    I should have explained that Andy Borowitz is a comedian.

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